Lili-Tunes

I picked the songs for Lili's China video.
And yes, I DO like to put the cart before the horse, thank you very much!
We may not have a video camera, but when we do, we'll be ready :)
Here's the list of songs in order:
1) Somewhere Out There (Theme from "An American Tale") by James Ingram and Linda Ronstadt
2) When Love Takes You In by Steven Curtis Chapman
3) I Will Be Here by Steven Curtis Chapman
4) Lily by Sara Hickman
5) Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Israel Kamikowiwo'ole
6) For Once In My Life by Stevie Wonder
I think that adds up to about 25 mins or so.
I can see the video in my head. Hope it all works out the way I have it planned :)
yeah, right!

To China, With Love

We sent our care package today. US mail. $18 for delivery in 7-10 business days. Not bad!

I pray that Lili receives everything. I pray that the nannies look at our pictures with her and that she really enjoys seeing all of us and understands. I included pics of the dogs and cats. I figured she should be prepared for the zoo! (hope it doesn't scare her away!)

I PRAY that they take all the exposures on the disposable camera and return that to us. That's the one thing I want back. If they keep everything else, I just want the camera back.

I wrapped everything. I don't think I would've done that if she was a baby, but I thought she'd enjoy unwrapping her gifts. It's so hard to not know ANYTHING. Does she even know anything about what's happening? Does the orphanage even know? I guess they'll find out enough in 7-10 business days! :)

Will it make it harder on Lili to wait? I know that I'm really starting to get antsy. It's only been 16 days since our referral. 16 days? THAT'S IT?!?!?! And it hasn't even been a WEEK since we sent in our LOI............sigh.

We heard from people that it was harder to wait after you got the referral. After you had the picture and KNOW that's your daughter!! Couldn't be more true. It's like "Ok, she's MINE, why should we not be together NOW?" It's like she's being held for ransom or something! ahh!

Now don't get me wrong, we DEFINITELY need the time to get ready. I've been shopping (no kidding!) but we still need so much more just for the trip alone. We need time to get her room done. Time to get our crap together. Time to figure out where and how we're going to get the money. The money!! I haven't even given that much thought---that's what my husband's for! :)

So, OK, if we use our time wisely, this wait could actually be a blessing. For us anyway. For Lili, it's just more time passing without her mom and dad and brother. But, in her mind, does she even know she's missing that?

She'll probably start realizing it after she gets the care package. argh!

Thanks CoCo!

Well, here's our translated letter to the orphanage which will be included in our care package. It basically says that we're happy, grateful and honored. It also lists the contents of the package and requests that all items be returned to us and the camera we're including to be used and returned.

One of the Chinese high school students in our town translated it for us. She said she also teaches Chinese classes at the library and Jeff and I think that would be a nice thing not only for us to sign up for, but for Lili as well. It would be a shame for her to lose that language. She told us to make sure to bring Lili in to their restaurant so she could meet her. She's such a nice girl!

We hope to have our care package sent out by the end of this week.

I was toying with the idea of having a "care package company" send one out for us, but you have to send a standard package, you can't pick out your own stuff to send. The prices were OK compared to what we found FedEx would cost (around $100!)

We were told by several people who have sent things to send it by the good ol' USPS. It costs about $11 and arrives usually in a week. There haven't seemed to be any problems doing it that way, so that's what we're going to do.

Tonight, we get to take some photos for the album we're going to send. Hopefully we won't look too scary!

Here's a list of what we're sending:

• a blanket, washed in our detergent and slept with for one night
• a Mickey Mouse stuffed doll
• some girly trinkets--necklace, magic wand, etc.
• photo album with pics of each of us, us together, our house, etc.
• the letter to the nannies/staff
• some stickers
• disposable camera

I think that's about it. We thought about sending an outfit, but I don't think we're going to do that....we may change our minds.

I really hope that Lili gets everything in the package. It would be nice if everything was returned to us on adoption day, but if not, we'll consider it a donation. I just PRAY we get the camera back with ALL of the pictures taken. That would be so priceless to us.

I just can't wait to go. I just want to be there. Not looking forward to GETTING there, though!

I want my daughter!! She's OURS now. Let's go CCAA!!

Well, since we were SURPRISED by our referral of a 4 year old girl, we have some things that we're never going to use. So, I decided to see if I could sell some things to my friends out there.

I have several clothing items: cardigans, onesies, pants, skirts, shorts, pajamas, dresses all varying in size from 6-12 months. Most items are 6-9 month size. Lots of ladybug clothing.

I also have some bottles, shoes, toys and a baby carrier. I even have a cherry-finish Jenny Lind crib!

If anyone is interested in any of these items, leave me a comment with your email address so I can email you pictures of the items. I'm selling them in groups, one price for the whole group. What you see in the pics is what you get. I'll do it first come, first serve. So if you're interested, let me know.

Thanks and happy shopping!!

Whew!

Type:
Package

Status:
Delivered

Delivered on:
03/26/2007 9:03 A.M.

Yay!!
Our LOI is safe and sound at our agency's main office. It wasn't supposed to be delivered until 10:30. Boy, am I glad we didn't choose the "8:00am" option. Can you imagine? It may have been delivered when no one was there! That's usually our "luck"!
Now, hopefully everything checks out OK with our documents. No problems, no complications.
So here we are, embarking on the next phase of our journey.
More waiting, but this time the end is in sight!
It's amazes me. When Jeff and I started our adoption journey the wait time to referral was 6 months. We were worried that we would get our referral TOO SOON! We knew we wanted to wait to travel to China until Summer 2007. We actually talked about having to wait to start the process ! :O
Thankfully, we noticed the wait time starting to grow and grow as we started our process. We jumped right in, still hoping and praying that we would be headed to China by (at the latest) Fall 2007.
Here it is Spring 2007 and we're slated to travel in 3-5 months. That's between June and August----Summer 2007!! Thanks be to God for His amazing grace and astounding wisdom!
When 2007 came, I prayed every day to bring Lili home in 2007. I knew it would take a miracle. I prayed for a miracle.
I guess this is proof that miracles happen. I am thankful every second for God's grace.

Check!

Daddy's home and Brett and Mommy could not be HAPPIER!! :)

I'm really glad we took the day off and went to pick him up at the airport. We got to see the plane land and were ready and waiting when Jeff came off!

We had a nice lunch, did a little shopping and saw TMNT (SOO EXCITING FOR ME!)

***We got the Letter of Intent signed and sealed to be delivered to our agency Monday at 10:30am (you better believe I'll be online tracking it!)

What a relief!! I'm so glad to get that done and gone!

***We also got Brett's passport application signed and mailed off. We should get the passport in the next 3-4 weeks.

Now we wait for the Letter of Acceptance. Probably a couple more months till we get that.

Then the Travel Approval. A couple more months after that. That's when it gets REALLY EXCITING! We'll be able to have an idea of travel dates and our agency can schedule the Consulate Appointment.

Then...............China or Bust!

Whoa. Unreal.

I can't believe we are where we are right now. EVERY SINGLE THING in China adoption is so uncertain. You can never say with any certainty that "we're going to do this or that" that it's just so surreal that we can actually say "we'll be in China in 3-5 months"! Of course, it's always "God willing".

So, God willing, we'll be home with Lili in ~6 months.

AWESOME!! :) :) :) :)

A little give, a little take

God willing, Jeff will be HOME tomorrow night at this time!!
I CANNOT WAIT!! (can you tell?)
In the last 11 days I've gotten about 45 hours of sleep. That means I've been awake for 219 HOURS!! whoa. You think I'd have more to show for all that time. hmm.

I have a request. I know you guys are out there. I can "see" you but I can't "hear" you. If you could, please leave me a comment. It doesn't have to be pithy or creative, just let me know that you're there. And if you'd like, what your story is. I'd love to share!
And thank you for following along with me on my (our) journey. It's bound to get a lot more interesting as we go along~ :)

OUCH!!

I forgot to mention I also got my first HepB shot today.
OUCH!!
You'd think after giving birth I'd be a little tougher...
I have to go now, my arm hurts too much to type any longer.
:)

Paperwork, Passports and Stress--Oh My!

That about says it all, huh?

Monday I took my son to get his passport. We got everything done and turned in, but they can't send it off until Jeff signs it. So, hopefully we can get to the County Building by 4pm Friday. We decided to expedite it. With Spring Break, passports are taking 10-12 weeks instead of 6 weeks. What if (miraculously) we would travel in 3 months? If Brett couldn't go with us that would really be a tragedy. So, I guess the health and well being of our family is worth the exta 60 bucks.

I've been working on our post-referral paperwork. The CCAA asks that all families matched with a special needs child complete a LOI (letter of intent)---this is to show the CCAA your intent to adopt this child. (as if the frantic phone calls, visits, announcements and 50 million pictures all around our house weren't enough!)

The thing is that this form needs to be TYPED. As in typed on a TYPEWRITER. Yes, one of those things that doesn't have spell check and types directly onto the page, no proof reading, no mistakes allowed. aah!

After I finally tracked down a typewriter (NOT an easy task!) I was so stinkin' nervous! Just knowing that every. single. letter. HAD. to. be. right. the FIRST time. No breathing room. I felt like I was diffusing a time bomb! I got through it OK. But here's the REAL kicker! It cannot be submitted to our agency until Jeff signs it too! So, before we go to sign the passport, we're going to overnight the LOI to our agency. Which means they'll get it on Saturday. when nobody's working. So, it'll sit there until Monday.

I HATE WASTED TIME!! This whole business-trip-thing is really getting on my nerves!!

**Hopefully on Monday:

• Our son's passport will be on its way to be processed.
• Our LOI will be on its way to be translated.
• Then sent to China.
• Then we wait for China to do their thing.
• Then China sends us an LOA (letter of approval)--approving us to adopt said child.
• Then China will send us TA (travel approval)--approving us to travel to China.
• Then our agency sets up CA (consulate appointment)--for us and Lili in China.
• Then we book our flights and get our itinerary.
• Then we rob a bank!! :)

Our Little Ram (aww!)

The Year Of The Ram

1919, 1931, 1943, 1955, 1967, 1979, 1991, 2003
People born in the Year of Ram are elegant and highly accomplished in the arts. They seem to be, at first glance, better off than those born in the zodiac's other years. But ram year people are often shy, pessimistic, and puzzled about life. They are usually deeply religious, yet timid by nature. Sometimes clumsy in speech, they are always passionate about what they do and what they believe in. Ram people never have to worry about having the best in life for their abilities make money for them, and they are able to enjoy the creature comforts that they like. Ram people are wise, gentle, and compassionate.

Hmm....I just read Lili's developmental report from her official referral. It was in both Chinese and English (YAY!)
It said that she is shy, quiet, introverted and timid. That's my little Ram!! :)
And, I'm quite sure she's also "puzzled about life"! And, I guess "clumsy in speech" (english speech anyway) as well!
It's funny how you can look at the zodiac and see similarities in people. I know it doesn't really mean anything, but it's amusing none the less!
So, we have a pretty diverse family:
We have a monkey, an ox, a dog and a ram. Quite a collection. Unfortunately, none of us are compatible with each other, which adds some spice to our lives! :)
"Vive la difference!"

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LILI!!

It's 8:00am Tuesday in China right now. Lili's 4th birthday.

I cannot believe that my daughter who I now love with all my heart has already lived 3 years and I didn't even know it!

Last week, I didn't even know she was my daughter.

I have to say that I could imagine her being my daughter, but it wasn't a fact. I remember when I saw her picture, being struck by her hands holding that ball. I thought "one day I'm going to hold those hands". Weird, I know. I didn't think about her eyes or her smile or anything else. I was just struck by her hands. I don't know why, but I could feel them in mine.

It breaks my heart to think of all the times that I wasn't there for her.

Did she even know she needed me?

I've been praying for God to prepare her heart for us. I want Him to instill a sense of peace in her. For her to know that it's all going to turn out OK and she is loved.

I want to put joy into those big beautiful eyes!

Happy Birthday Lili.

Love, Mommy

I wish I could say I was exhausted---but I'm obviously some kind of FREAK!

How jealous am I of this kitty?

I haven't slept since Wednesday. Even then, I didn't sleep very well. I haven't slept well since last Saturday. ugh. I'm a girl that needs her sleep. I don't know how long I'm going to be able to function until I crash. And when I do, it'll be UGLY!

Today was the first day that I started to feel like myself. Back in my own skin. My mom and I worked on "adoption pending/referral" announcements. We worked for hours on them. My eyes were crossing. It was a good kind of exhaustion.

Then I get home.

My agency had UPS'ed our referral packet. In there were the original pictures of Lili and one brand new one. wow! My poor husband. He won't be able to see anything for another SIX DAYS!! He's really getting sad about it. Anyway, any thoughts I had about having a "normal" night just flew out the window. All the paperwork, the officialness of it, the CHINESENESS (!) of it got me all pumped up. It's like the referral call all over again! AHH!

Somebody shoot me with a tranquilizer dart!

I seriously need to be normal again. Or maybe this is my new normal?

Or was I ever really normal to begin with?

hmmm.......

Hopefully everyone can view the pictures now!!

Where in the world is Lili?

Lili is residing in the Wuchuan City SWI (Social Welfare Institution--orphanage) in the Guangdong Province. That's the yellow province located at the bottom of the map. Look for Hong Kong and you've found it. Not really sure yet where Wuchuan is. I think it's towards the bottom of Guangdong, near the water from what I could tell on another map. ???
Subtropical climate. VERY hot and wet in the summer, which is when we should be there---anytime between June and August/September. Subtropical sounds really good now! But subtropical in August is a whole different ballgame! I'm a sunny and 75 degree, no humidity with a slight breeze kind of girl....oh well. Like I can complain!!

I slept from 11-4 last night. And that was with a Benadryl. The 5 hours I got though was a solid sleep. This coming from a girl who needs, at minimum, 9 hours a night to be able to function. (I sound REALLY high maintenance, don't I?) But, I guess I should get used to less sleep. The plane ride, the entire time in China, the jetlag both there and back at home. We'll see how this old girl holds up!

My husband and I must've talked a zillion times last night (he's away in Georgia right now). I guess our "talking" was actually more just giggling and sighing. This is so surreal, especially with him being gone. I don't think we'll really think it's "real" until he gets home. We just want to hug each other! I told him before he left that we would be matched this time ONLY BECAUSE he's out of town. We always have to do things the hard way, so it just figures! :)

I just can't really function. I'm SOOO glad I don't have to go in to work today. Although I'm sure I'll stop by to spread the news! I am so blessed to have so many people who share my joy. People that are just as excited for us as if it were happening to them. THAT is the real blessing. And it really makes me even that much happier to be able to give them joy. I am blessed beyond belief! Thanks be to God.

In my last post I quoted a line from "When Love Takes You In":
"In a moment what has been is lost in what will be"
THAT is exactly what I'm feeling now. All the paperwork, anxiety, stress, waiting, worrying, all of it is just GONE. I am "lost in what will be" and I couldn't be happier about it! :)

WE HAVE A DAUGHTER!!!!!!!!

I am shocked, amazed, dumbfounded and in total awe!!
I walked in my house at 4:25pm today to a ringing phone. It went to our answering machine, but I figured I'd answer it anyway. It was our social worker. She asked how I was doing and if Jeff was home or still at work. I told her that he was away on business in GEORGIA! FOR THE NEXT 8 DAYS!!! She said "Oh. Well I have some exciting news for you".........[loooong pause] "You have a daughter." HOLY GUACAMOLE!! I HAVE A DAUGHTER? SERIOUSLY?
Here I am ALL ALONE!! My husband's gone. My son is outside and I'm FREAKING OUT!! Am I really on the phone, or am I completely psychotic, wanting this SOO badly that I'm imagining it, playing it out in my head? Thankfully my son came in and heard the rest of the conversation. I had to ask him later if I was insane (by the way, he said "yes") but he did confirm that the phone call did indeed take place!
So, I try to call my husband. Who has a work phone, a cell phone and a hotel room phone. No answer on any of them! WHAT?!?!?! He PROMISED me that I could reach him ANY TIME!! I tried calling him for AN HOUR! AN HOUR! FINALLY, I got ahold of him. He was at a book store. I asked him if he found any books on adoption. He said "no, not really, I didn't really see anything....blah....blah....blah" I said "Honey, I was hoping you found something because you have a daughter!"
[crickets chirping]
Me: "Honey? Did you hear me?"
Him: "Are you serious?"
Me: "Yes"
Him: "We're not supposed to find out until tomorrow."
Me: "Um, sorry" (???)
Anyway, he was just as dumbfounded as I was (and still am!)
So, here's the story of our Liliana Laura-Mei.
Our agency receives a special needs/waiting children list a few times a year. We applied for a girl last time the list was out (in January). We were not matched. So, this time we were leary. Should we really get a picture of this little girl and put our hearts out there for potential disappointment? Well, thankfully the answer was "yes". We decided to write our agency a letter stating our desire to be matched with this girl.
The list came out last Thursday afternoon. We spent all weekend praying about it and researching her special need. Tuesday I emailed our social worker our letter. They were supposed to review it today and notify the families tomorrow. Supposed to. WOW!!
This post is ALL OVER THE PLACE, but I am just a mess! A LONELY mess! AAHH!
I have so many people to tell and so much to do. My son doesn't have a passport yet. We should be traveling anywhere from 3-5 months from now. Unbelieveable. I still can't get over the fact that we're just going to be going to China! WOW! we never go ANYWHERE!
OK, so, our daughter is going to be 4 years old on the 20th. That's much older than we thought. BUT! God obviously knows that our Lili was born in 2003 and has been waiting for us all this time. Before we even knew we wanted to adopt. She's been there. Just for us. And, since our son is almost 10, the more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea of them being closer in age. Otherwise, there'd be a 10-11 year age difference. That's quite a bit. She'll be in kindergarten when he's still in elementary school. That will be nice. The thing that bothers me the most is all the time we've missed with her. All the milestones that she hit when no one really cared (not as much as her parents would). So, we have a lot of lost time to make up for and the rest of our lives to do it! I consider that a fair trade! :)
"In a moment what has been is lost in what will be"
--Steven Curtis Chapman "When Love Takes You In"

March--Month #6

Wow. 6 months since LID. The time really, truly has gone by so fast! Here's hoping the next 6, 12, 18 (24, 36??)months go just as fast! :(

So, in honor of our 6 month LID, here's a list of the 6 things I've learned while waiting:

1) I've learned that I still want this so much that I'm willing to wait.

2) I've learned that I know and love Lili in my heart already

3) I've learned that no matter HOW MUCH I WORRY, it doesn't change anything!!

4) I've learned that time passes TOO quickly when you have children

5) I've learned that prayer helps soothe my soul

6) I've learned that every day WITHOUT Lili is a day CLOSER to Lili!

So, there you have it. 6 of the (many) things I've learned over the last 6 months.

Just think how much smarter and enlightened I'll be by the END of this wait!! :) :) :)

Lili-Lily-Lilly, "A lily by any other name is just as sweet"

We had our homestudy update phone call Monday night.

I have to say, I really love our social worker. Like we could be friends. We mesh. She has a sense of humor and she understands mine. Like when I actually giggled when she asked me about any recent drug use and/or child abuse. She understood why I giggled and didn't seem put out. I guess I giggled because, look, if the stress of this last year hasn't made me turn to drugs or abuse, nothing EVER will! It's insane and absurd! Yet, even she told me that I seem so positive about this whole thing. And I do. Maybe I'm living in a dream world. Maybe I'm completely out of touch with reality.

Maybe.

Maybe not.

I pray for miracles every day. I know that miracles not only can, but do, happen. I know that. And that's what keeps me going. I cannot help but have this sense of anticipation every day. I do know that the phone's not going to just ring one day and I'll be on the plane to China. I know that. But, we don't know what God is doing right now. Maybe He's working those miracles for us right this instant. Maybe things are going to change. What He does can happen in an INSTANT. Poof!

Maybe He's got something in the works. I don't know when I'll find out if He does, but I think that's what that sense of anticipation is based on. God never rests. The CCAA may be closed for the weekend, all our agencies may be closed for the weekend, but God is still working and He's still in control.

I grow SO tired of the sites that try to predict what's going on and what's going to happen. They always say that the CCAA is in control. Which, from a certain standpoint, they are. But NO ONE is in control but God. Truly and honestly. And that is what makes me have faith that things can change. If God wants them to.
Someone told me that when people pray they should begin with "God, I know You're listening" and end with "Thank You for listening". He's there. We just have to want to know Him.

Lili's Homecoming Video

Now I KNOW I have a super-long time to work on this, but I've been thinking for quite awhile about Lili's homecoming-gotcha day-China video. I know we want to create one and I know we want it set to music. So, the following is a list of songs that I'd like to use:

1) "Pictures of Lily" by The Who

wow-wow-wow!! The chorus is so perfect for us! Never even knew it existed!! LOOVE IT!

2) "Somewhere Out There" theme from An American Tail (Ronstadt and Ingram)

makes me cry to even think of it!! Amazing, amazing song for international adoption!

3) "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" By Israel Kamakawiwo'ole (or something like that!)

THE most beautiful rendition of this song. ever.

4) "Isn't She Lovely" by Stevie Wonder

I know, I know it's more for birth daughters, but I love it all the same!

5) "For Once in My Life" by Stevie Wonder

and I never really thought I LIKED Stevie Wonder!! A very appropriate adoption song, I

think.

6) "I Will Be Here" by Steven Curtis Chapman

soooooo beautiful and touching. So appropriate.

7) "When Love Takes You In" by Steven Curtis Chapman

not really too crazy about this song, but the words are meant for adoption, so it's an option.

8) "Lilly Belle" by Frank Sinatra

Years ago, I found a $1 CD at Dollar Tree with Frank, Etta James, Bing Crosby and figured

I'd pick it up because I love Frank. Little did I know that I'd be addicted to that song!!

I haven't found that song anywhere else, so I'm so glad I got it when I did!!

I also found a Chinese song titled "Bai He Hui" which translates to "Lily"--thought that was interesting!!

So, there's my picks for our Lili tunes.

I know I'm seriously warped thinking about our China video already!! But, it's that kind of thing that keeps me going. So, off to burn my CD of Lili-Tunes!