It's been 2 YEARS since Lili's referral

Wow...I can't believe it. We found out that we were accepted to be Lili's family 2 years ago today.

The special needs program at our agency works differently than 'regular' referrals. We were emailed a list of available children on 3/8/07, we requested more information on Mei Xiu Yuan, so this was the day we actually saw our daughter's face for the first time. Then we wrote a letter expressing our wish to be chosen as her family. And on 3/15/07, we found out they matched us to her.

I don't know if I can compare it with the day you find out you're pregnant, or the day you give birth, or what, because there are so many 'special' days with an adoption, especially a 'special' one.

Suffice it to say, it was a day that I'll never, ever forget and one of the most surreal experiences of my life.

Below is my blog excerpt from 3/15/07:

Thursday, March 15, 2007

WE HAVE A DAUGHTER!!!!!!!!
I am shocked, amazed, dumbfounded and in total awe!!

I walked in my house at 4:25pm today to a ringing phone. It went to our answering machine, but I figured I'd answer it anyway. It was our social worker. She asked how I was doing and if Jeff was home or still at work. I told her that he was away on business in GEORGIA! FOR THE NEXT 8 DAYS!!! She said "Oh. Well I have some exciting news for you".........[loooong pause] "You have a daughter."

HOLY GUACAMOLE!! I HAVE A DAUGHTER? SERIOUSLY?

Here I am ALL ALONE!! My husband's gone. My son is outside and I'm FREAKING OUT!! Am I really on the phone, or am I completely psychotic, wanting this SOO badly that I'm imagining it, playing it out in my head?

Thankfully my son came in and heard the rest of the conversation. I had to ask him later if I was insane (by the way, he said "yes") but he did confirm that the phone call did indeed take place!So, I try to call my husband. Who has a work phone, a cell phone and a hotel room phone. No answer on any of them!

WHAT?!?!?! He PROMISED me that I could reach him ANY TIME!!

I tried calling him for AN HOUR! AN HOUR! FINALLY, I got ahold of him. He was at a book store. I asked him if he found any books on adoption. He said "no, not really, I didn't really see anything....blah....blah....blah" I said "Honey, I was hoping you found something because you have a daughter!"[crickets chirping]

Me: "Honey? Did you hear me?"

Him: "Are you serious?"

Me: "Yes"

Him: "We're not supposed to find out until tomorrow."

Me: "Um, sorry" (???)

Anyway, he was just as dumbfounded as I was (and still am!)

So, here's the story of our Liliana Laura-Mei.Our agency receives a special needs/waiting children list a few times a year. We applied for a girl last time the list was out (in January). We were not matched. So, this time we were leary. Should we really get a picture of this little girl and put our hearts out there for potential disappointment? Well, thankfully the answer was "yes". We decided to write our agency a letter stating our desire to be matched with this girl.

The list came out last Thursday afternoon. We spent all weekend praying about it and researching her special need. Tuesday I emailed our social worker our letter. They were supposed to review it today and notify the families tomorrow. Supposed to. WOW!!

This post is ALL OVER THE PLACE, but I am just a mess! A LONELY mess! AAHH!

I have so many people to tell and so much to do. My son doesn't have a passport yet. We should be traveling anywhere from 3-5 months from now. Unbelieveable. I still can't get over the fact that we're just going to be going to China! WOW! we never go ANYWHERE!

OK, so, our daughter is going to be 4 years old on the 20th. That's much older than we thought. BUT! God obviously knows that our Lili was born in 2003 and has been waiting for us all this time. Before we even knew we wanted to adopt. She's been there. Just for us. And, since our son is almost 10, the more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea of them being closer in age. Otherwise, there'd be a 10-11 year age difference. That's quite a bit. She'll be in kindergarten when he's still in elementary school. That will be nice. The thing that bothers me the most is all the time we've missed with her. All the milestones that she hit when no one really cared (not as much as her parents would). So, we have a lot of lost time to make up for and the rest of our lives to do it! I consider that a fair trade! :)

"In a moment what has been is lost in what will be"--Steven Curtis Chapman "When Love Takes You In"

Boy, reading that just takes me right back.

We have been so blessed throughout this whole journey. Every day just continues to be another blessing. Sure, I have my moments where I want to change my name from "Mommy" to anything else, but when I think about where we were just a few short years ago and where God has led us, I'm just in awe. We were meant to be the family that we are from before time began.

whoa, huh?

We love you Lili!