It's beginning to look a lot like CHRISTmas

Wow! November and December always just fly by----now that I'm an adult anyway.
I remember being a kid, waiting in November for my birthday, then waiting another month and 1/2 for Christmas. Just waiting for presents. That was my responsibility.
Now that I'm on the OTHER end of the present spectrum, there's not a whole lot of time to get it all done.
Just yesterday I addressed my Christmas cards and bought the special family cards (parents, grandma, grandpa, etc.) I always have to make a list of what special cards I need, there's probably at least a dozen of them. And cards ain't cheap!!! Neither are the stamps to mail them. Have to set aside Christmas money just for that. sheesh. Oh well, holiday spirit and all.
This year I sent out a "news letter". Actually a "NO news letter" is more like it. It describes our adoption journey in a nutshell up to this point. There was actually some pretty interesting stuff going on....up to this point.
I SINCERELY HOPE that I DO NOT need to send out another news letter next year. I guess I could just do a post-script "refer to last year's letter".
I hope and pray that next Christmas, we either have our referral picture or our actual daughter in a family picture to send out. But, crap, we just don't know, do we? I mean, we have NO idea if we're going to be seeing our babies in 2007, 2008, 2009........and THAT'S REALLY WHAT GETS ME!!! If I just knew what our wait was going to be, fine. Even give or take 1 or 2 months. But this not knowing if it's going to speed up, stabilize, slow down, double or triple is the real killer! If I just knew I'd have to wait 2 years guaranteed, OK, not the best scenario, but I know what I'm in for and what to plan for.
I guess that's the gist of it, I'm a planner. I like to know when to expect what. However, in direct conflict with my own thinking is God's plan.
Nothing is guaranteed.
Even if the wait time was at 6 months for the last 10 years, it's still not guaranteed.
The only thing that's guaranteed is that God is in control and He has my life mapped out for me. And that's that. No matter what I like to think, I just have to go along for the ride. The only thing I have control over is praying, and boy do I. I've never prayed so much in my life!!!! It seems like every time I have a second I'm praying for Lili. I'm praying for God to move mountains. And when I really focus on God and what's in my heart, I have peace and I realize that every day WITHOUT Lili is a day CLOSER to Lili.
That's all I have right now, and most days it's enough.
Thank God for that.