'Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas'

That's always been my favorite Christmas song.
I remember Christmas 2006 as we were waiting, just 3 months LID at that point. That song took on a whole new meaning.

"Someday soon we all will be together
If the fates allow.
Until then we'll have to muddle through somehow
So have yourself a merry little Christmas now."

Talk about downright depressing.
That song is always a little sad, but when you're waiting (and waiting) for your child to come home.......geesh.

So, thinking about that song and that Christmas, I looked back at my journal from December 2006. They had just referred 14 days worth of LIDs. The dates were somewhere from late August 2005 to early September 2005.
Now, 2 YEARS LATER, they have referred to mid February 2006.
Do the math.
That's about 5 MONTHS worth of referrals in 2 YEARS.
When we were paperchasing the wait was about 6-7 months from LID to referral.
Now, it's got to be about 40 months or so, growing every single month.
I cannot tell you how grateful I am to be out of that whole scene.

Jeff and I were talking about it last night.
With an LID of September 2006, at the rate the referrals are going, we'd STILL have about 18-24 months left to wait.
That would mean I would be 40, Jeff would be 42, Brett would be almost 14 and we'd be starting all over again with a baby.
We came to the conclusion that we probably wouldn't be waiting anymore. And I'm sure we wouldn't pursue another country or adoption. We wouldn't have Lili. period.
And I guess God in all His wisdom knew that.
You know how He doesn't give you more than you can handle? Well, I'm just sure He knew that would be more than we could handle. I know it would've been.

Lili was meant to be Lili. She was created, born, abandoned, found, taken in, lived for 4 years in an orphanage, given to OUR agency's waiting children list and matched with us.
Pretty amazing, huh?
Every time we think of the way things worked, we're just in awe.

Our God is an awesome God.

So, 'have yourself a merry little Christmas now'.